Hi friend,
If you're grieving something right now — a person, a version of your life, a relationship, a diagnosis — I want to write to you specifically today.
Grief and sleep don't get along.
The research is clear on this. A landmark study published in Sleep Medicine Reviews in 2019 followed over 3,000 bereaved adults for two years. Ninety-one percent reported significant sleep disruption in the first six months after their loss. Half were still not sleeping normally at the two-year mark.
This isn't weakness. This is what grief does.
Grief is stored in the body. It changes your cortisol. It changes your inflammatory markers. It changes the very rhythm of your sleep architecture. Your body is not "getting over it." Your body is processing it — and processing is exhausting work.
I want to offer you a few things.
First — permission. You don't have to sleep well while you're grieving. The goal is not to "get back to normal." The goal is to be gentle with your body while it does something very old and very hard.
Second — a small practice. Before you take your YU Sleep tonight, place your hand on your heart. Say, silently: "I am carrying something heavy. I am doing my best. I am allowed to rest." Not "I should sleep well." Not "I need to move on." Just: I am allowed to rest.
Third — a study you might find comforting. Researchers at UCLA found that bereaved adults who slept even 5-6 hours per night for the first year showed significantly better emotional integration than those who tried to sleep 8+ hours or those who slept less than 4. Six hours is enough. Your body knows what it needs.
I'm sorry for what you're carrying.
Take care,
Dr. Collins
